Are your preferences keeping you single as a Christian woman?

Hey Queen!

As a Christian woman, you may have specific preferences and standards for a potential spouse, which is important for maintaining your Christian values. However, some preferences may unintentionally limit your opportunities for a meaningful Christ-centered relationship. Let’s explore how to balance your preferences with God’s plan for your life.

1. Are Your Preferences Biblical or Superficial?

It’s good to have preferences, but it’s essential to distinguish between biblical principles and personal preferences.

What’s the Difference:

• Biblical Standards: Faith in Christ, has integrity, kindness, humility, and a commitment to spiritual growth.

• Superficial Preferences: Height, income level, specific interests, or physical appearance.

As yourself: Do your preferences align with what God values in a spouse or are they based on worldly desires?

2. Are You Overlooking Potential Matches?

Sometimes, a hyper-specific “ideal” list can prevent you from recognizing great qualities in someone who doesn’t fit all your preferences.

Ask yourself:

• Are you quick to dismiss someone because they don’t meet every item on your “list”?

• Are you focusing on long-term compatibility rather than short-term companionship?

3. Are You Trusting God’s Timing or Your Own?

Sometimes, singleness can feel like a long waiting game, but it’s important to trust that God knows what you need and when you need it.

Ask yourself:

• Are you relying more on your own timeline than seeking God’s will for your life?

• Are you focusing on preparing yourself for marriage rather than finding the “perfect” person?

4. Do Your Preferences Reflect Kingdom Values?

God’s plan for relationships centers on glorifying him and building his kingdom. Preferences that focus too much on external or temporary factors may distract from that purpose and is not from God.

Ask yourself:

• Are you prioritizing a shared commitment to ministry, service, and faith over personal preferences?

• Are you open to how God might redefine what you need in a partner?

5. Are You Willing to Grow Together?

It’s easy to want someone who already “has it all together,” but a godly relationship is often about growing and maturing together.

Ask yourself:

• Are you willing to invest in someone who shows potential and a commitment to Christ, even if they aren’t perfect yet?

• Are you expecting your future spouse to be something you’re not willing to strive for yourself?

While it’s okay to have preferences for your ideal spouse, it is more important to let God lead in this area. Examine your preferences, pray for wisdom, and trust that God’s plan for your life—including your love life—is better than anything you could imagine.

Would you like tips on refining your preferences or guidance on preparing for a Christ-centered relationship? If so, be sure to subscribe to the monthly newsletter!

Remember Queen, you do not have to walk this journey alone. Let me hold your hand and walk with you.

Until next time, take care!