How to be content in singleness while also desiring a healthy christian relationship
Hey Queen,
Navigating the journey of singleness while holding a desire for a healthy Christian relationship can be a balancing act. On one hand, it’s natural and good to long for companionship and intimacy as part of God’s design for relationships. On the other, finding contentment in the present season of singleness is vital to personal growth and spiritual maturity. Here’s how to embrace this season of life while maintaining hope for the future.
1. Redefine Singleness as a Gift, Not a Punishment
In a culture that often equates being single with lacking something, it’s important to view singleness through a biblical lens. In 1 Corinthians 7:7, Paul refers to singleness as a gift. This season can offer unique opportunities for personal growth, deepening your relationship with God, and serving others in ways that might not be possible in a different life stage.
Action Step: Reflect on areas where singleness has allowed you to thrive—whether it’s through ministry, friendships, or self-discovery—and thank God for these blessings.
2. Cultivate a Deep Relationship with God
Desiring a healthy Christian relationship starts with being spiritually healthy yourself. A relationship with Christ is the foundation of any future relationship. Use this time to build a habit of daily prayer, bible study, and worship. When your identity and worth are rooted in Christ, you’re less likely to look to another person to fill those voids.
Action Step: Set aside intentional quiet time each day to strengthen your relationship with God, asking him to shape your heart and prepare you for his will for your life.
3. Invest in Your Passions and Community
Singleness provides the freedom to explore your passions, hobbies, and callings without compromise. It’s also an opportunity to pour into your community—whether through church, mentorship, or friendships. Developing a fulfilling life independently will not only bring you joy now but also prepare you to enter a relationship from a place of wholeness rather than dependence.
Action Step: Join a biible study group, volunteer, or learn a new skill. Building a life full of purpose and joy can make this season deeply fulfilling.
4. Pray with Purpose and Trust God’s Timing
Your desire for a relationship is valid and meaningful, and bringing it to God in prayer is a powerful act of trust. While you pray for a future partner, ask God to align your desires with His will. Trust that His timing is perfect, even when it doesn’t align with your expectations or time line.
Action Step: Keep a prayer journal to pour out your desires and fears to God, and revisit it to reflect on how He’s working in your life over time.
5. Guard Against Comparison and Impatience
It’s easy to feel discouraged when it seems like everyone around you is entering relationships or getting married. Remember, each person’s journey is unique, and God’s plans for you are not diminished by the blessings he gives others. Resist the urge to compare and focus instead on the path God has set before you.
Action Step: Practice gratitude by listing three things you’re thankful for each day, shifting your focus from what you lack to what you have.
6. Prepare for the Relationship You Desire
Use this season to grow emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Seek counseling or mentorship if needed to address past hurts or patterns that could impact a future relationship. A healthy relationship requires two healthy individuals who are prepared to love selflessly.
Action Step: Read books or attend workshops on building Christ-centered relationships, and work on embodying the qualities you hope to find in a future partner.
7. Embrace Hope Without Idolatry
It’s possible to desire a relationship without making it an idol. Trusting God’s plan doesn’t mean abandoning your desire but rather placing it in His hands. Keep your hope alive while focusing on the life he’s given you now.
Action Step: Meditate on verses like Psalm 37:4, reminding yourself of God’s promises and faithfulness.
Singleness is not a waiting room for marriage—it’s a vibrant and meaningful season of life in its own right. By embracing contentment, nurturing your faith, and preparing your heart, you can find joy in this chapter while remaining hopeful for the future. Trust that God is writing your story perfectly, in his time and for his glory. I hope these tips help! Until next time, remember you do not have to walk this journey alone, let me hold your hand as a sister and walk with you!
